Pandemic Depression(?)

I don’t know about anyone else, but I find myself really struggling lately with the complete normalization (or acceptance) of covid, the absence of any public health protections, the unwillingness of people to continue masking in public, and the general lack of collective-care on display from — what seems like — the majority of people in Calgary, Alberta, and North American society more broadly.

I really don’t want to get sick again — it was awful for me. I don’t want others to get sick (or sick again) either. I don’t want to pass along a virus that might kill someone and/or their loved ones. I don’t want long term brain damage for me or anybody else. And I find it extremely depressing to see others stop caring.

I hate reading or hearing news stories every week about how our hospitals and healthcare workers are struggling to keep up with the huge demands being placed on them because of the pandemic. I hate thinking that someone might die of a different illness or injury because there wasn’t enough staff to tend to them.

It’s as if people only ever cared about getting vaccinated to improve the chances of their own survival, and once that was done, to hell with anybody else who might get infected and suffer long term health consequences (or death) by repeat infections. I find it all very hard to witness and I think that it’s taking a massive toll on my mental health.

And then it gets me thinking about the scale of collective action that’s required to tackle our other intersecting crises, such as climate change, and rising wealth inequality and it makes me feel hopeless. I try to do my best to help, and it sucks when it seems like others don’t give a damn.

This whole situation reminds me of a quote from one of my favourite books I read this past year — Free: A Child and a Country at the End of History, by Lea Ypi:

“A society that claims to enable people to realize their potential but fails to change the structures that prevent everyone from flourishing is also oppressive. And yet, despite all the constraints, we never lose our inner freedom: the freedom to do what is right.”

I recognize that everyone has their own ideas about what constitutes freedom and what they consider to be “right”. But, I hope that by still caring about others in the face of this ongoing and horrific pandemic, that I am somehow — at least — making a positive difference.